You’ve probably heard some stuff about pegging or seen that yeah, that was amazing smile. And you’re wondering, what’s the deal? Why is this suddenly a thing? Honestly, it’s pretty simple: pegging is when someone uses a strap-on dildo for anal, vaginal, or oral penetration.

In this guide, we’ll cover the basics, and you can decide if it’s something you want to try. If you do, great. If not, no pressure. Let’s explore the possibilities together.

What is pegging?

When you get right down to it, pegging lets the person doing the pegging (whoever’s wearing the strapon) experience what it’s like to own their very own penis.

This experience is why pegging is frequently a mainstay of BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism/Masochism or kink for short) play scenes; there’s nothing quite like being pegged to feel excitedly sexually subjugated — or pegging someone to feel erotically powerful, which also explains why it’s a favorite among femdom, or “Female Domination” fanciers.

Why People Enjoy Pegging

All great, grand, and especially hot, but pegging doesn’t have to be all whips and chains, as there are plenty of people who love pegging without role-playing. It’s also not true that only sexually submissive people get turned on by being pegged.

As with any form of consensual sex, pegging is what those involved want to make it: tough and rough, gentle and tender, or their very own mixture—as long as it’s done safely, then the sky’s the limit!

“The power dynamics are quite hot if you’ve got a female-identified body and have been used to receiving penetration as a result. Pegging is a fun —and even liberating — way to top. But it all works out better if you take it slowly, especially if your partner is new to this. Really listen!” Amy Marsh, Ed.D., sexologist and hypnotist, tells FemmeFunn.

How to Get Started with Pegging

Gear and Prep

Start by choosing a well-made and well-fitting strapon harness. If you’re a beginner, you may want to go with a Velcro one; easily adjustable, they are ideal for getting a sense of what wearing a strapon is like. Then, from there, if you want, you can also graduate to a sturdier, more heavy-duty harness.

For vaginal play, stick with dildos designed for just that; likewise, never penetrate someone’s ass with anything but an anal toy. And, for the love of God, don’t forget the lube.

Consent and Boundaries

But before all this, we cannot stress the importance of thoroughly discussing everything — and we mean everything — you and your partner might be interested in, if excited enough, and what absolutely should never happen. Then and only then, once everyone understands and consents to precisely what’s been agreed upon, should the pegging commence.

If either the person doing the pegging or the person getting pegged wants to pump the brakes, take five, or call it quits, then that’s exactly what happens. No arguments, no ‘but we were just…’ nonsense. Everything stops. End of story.

Lube and Preparation

When engaging in anal play, always have a lot, as in twice or even three times as much anal lube as you think you might need, and keep applying it no matter how slippery they may think they already are. (Out of lube? Check out our list of anal lube alternatives for a when you’re in a pinch.)

Talking anal, did you know it can not only be extremely arousing — to the tune of possibly giving the penis-equipped mind-bending powerful prostate orgasms but also may provide a host of positive health benefits?

Depending on personal preferences, people sometimes find anal rimming to be an effective way to loosen up before a pegging scene, though if that’s not comfortable, another great method to prepare for anal play is by gently, carefully, slowly inserting one or two, then three gloved fingers — all while paying strict attention to what the receiver is communicating.

Heads up: if you’re wanting the down-low on prepping for anal play, we’ve got a guide called Anal Training 101 that breaks it all down. Might be worth a peek.

Pegging Techniques and Variations

Once everyone’s freely consented, the person on the receiving end and whoever’s wearing the strapon are equally comfortable and relaxed, and suitable toys and sexual lubes are at the ready, it might be time to consider trying some alternative positions.

There’s a whole world of positions to explore with pegging, and we’ll be diving deep (pun intended) into those in a future article. But to get you started, here are a few popular variations:

💋 Double penetration: This one’s for those who like to multitask. If the person doing the pegging also has a penis, they can penetrate both the vagina and anus at the same time. It’s intense, and definitely not for the faint of heart.

💋 Bondage pegging: If you’re into power dynamics and restraints, this is for you. Think safe, secure restraints paired with the thrill of penetration. It takes trust and communication to a whole new level.

💋 Pegging Mistress/Pegged by Wife: Whether it’s a “pegging mistress” scenario or a “pegged by wife” fantasy, it’s all about exploring that power exchange. If femdom’s your thing, you’ll find a lot to love here.

Femdom and Pegging

Pegging and femdom often go together like, well, a strap-on and a willing partner. But what’s the connection? Essentially, pegging allows for a very specific power dynamic. It flips the traditional script, giving the person wearing the strap-on the dominant role and the person being penetrated the submissive one.

The person with the strap-on controls the penetration, the pace, and the intensity. This can be incredibly empowering, especially for women or anyone who typically finds themselves in a more submissive position during sex. That control is a core element of femdom.

Whether it’s a “Pegging by Wife” scenario, a “Pegging Mistress” scene, or something else entirely, the use of a realistic dildo adds another layer of intensity. The feel, the size, the visual — it all contributes to the experience.

Safety and Aftercare

When it comes to anal play, whether pegging or anything else, quality lube is your best friend. Seriously, don’t skimp. Because the anal area is delicate, using the right lubricant prevents discomfort and potential injury. Be sure to use body-safe lube to ensure the ass on the receiving end will stay happy and healthy.

Now, when things wind down, don’t just call it quits. Aftercare is just as important as the pre-play talk. Plan it out together, like you do the rest of the scene. Whether it’s a hot bath, some cuddles, or just chilling with tea, make sure you both feel good afterward.

Lube, communication, and aftercare are non-negotiable. Get those right, and you’ll have a much better time.

The Bottom Line

At the end of the day, pegging can be whatever you want it to be. Just remember: safety, consent, and respect are non-negotiable. And when you’ve got those down, let the pleasure take the lead.