Euphemism: it’s just a fancy way of getting around to saying what you really mean. And when it comes to the topic of sex? Well, let’s just say our language gets creative. Sure, sometimes these slang terms offer a “more acceptable” or “polite” way to refer to things (e.g., the “birds and the bees”), but they can also be pretty raunchy.

From the hilariously outdated (“horizontal bop,” anyone?) to the surprisingly suggestive (“hanky panky” — my parents used this one), there are hundreds of ridiculous euphemisms for sex floating around out there. And we’re here to grace you with some of the most… interesting ones.

Old-Fashioned Favorites

In the not-so-distant past, society was a bit more prudish when it came to matters of the bedroom. Quaint euphemisms like “making love,” “being intimate,” or “doing the deed” were about as spicy as things got.

Here are some of the more subdued, yet still fairly outdated, euphemisms for sex: 

Amorous Congress

I kind of like this one. It sounds…official?

Beast with Two Backs

Rebecca Fasman, Curator at The Kinsey Institute, submitted this delightfully cryptic and Shakespearean-sounding euphemism. She says it symbolizes a divine coming together as a different being and a primal, animalistic existence.

Canoodling

I actually think “canoodling” is kind of cute. It has a playful and affectionate vibe to it.

Give One’s Arse a Salad

Tossing salad is now slang for rimming, but in the 1600s, it may have just referred to good old-fashioned sex. But who knows, maybe they were kinky back then, too!

Having Relations

Oh, yes. This one’s saucy. “Relations” is such a vague and clinical term; it just screams Victorian-era propriety.

Makin’ Whoopee

Doesn’t this sound like you’re about to make a tasty baked good? I’m seeing Little Debbie cakes in my head for some reason. But, in reality, this phrase originated from the 1928 song “Makin’ Whoopee” by Eddie Cantor.

Necking

Ah, the good old days when a little bit of neck kissing was considered scandalous. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, this term was first used in the Middle English period (1150 to 1500).

A Roll in the Hay

The imagery here is pretty self-explanatory. This term became popular in the 1940s, in 1942, to be exact.

Riding St. George

This phrase refers to a woman being on top during sex. So, the “Woman on Top Position” can also be called the “St. George Position.” This phrasing dates from 1811 and is defined by Captain Francis Grose in the Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue.

Shaking of the Sheets

This super-obvious euphemism dates back to the 16th and 17th centuries. The earliest recorded use was in 1554 in John Lydgate’s poem, “Dance of Death.”

Modern Slang

We’re playing it fast and loose with “modern,” but these terms are a bit more current than the ones above.

Bingo Night

“I love using the bingo analogy because it’s so spot on,” Sumarie Engelbrecht, Founder and Registered Counsellor at Wholistic Mental Health Care, tells FemmeFunn. “Just like in the game, there are tons of ways to win — diagonals, full rows, corners — every win counts,” she adds. “It’s the same with sex. Different things work for different folks, and it’s all about finding what brings each person joy and satisfaction.”

Doing It

Not very classy, but definitely gets the point across.

Getting Laid

This is probably one of the most widely used contemporary sex euphemisms.

Getting it On

“I feel like this phrase shows that sex is a joint activity,” Leigh Norén, Sex & Relationship Therapist, Sexologist, and Intimacy Coach at Leigh Norén Coaching & Therapy, tells FemmeFunn. “It’s not about one person “banging” another, or ‘getting lucky’ or ‘fucking’ someone, but rather about how both (or more parties) are having sex together – All parties are active participants in this phrase; it brings back a bit of equality!”

Netflix and Chill

I loathe this phrase. It’s a thinly veiled sexual invitation that’s just cringe-worthy.

Nookie

“I still prefer the more playful British euphemisms to the practical, more business-like American ones (get down to business, do the deed),” Camilla Peterson, the Director of Strategic Communications at The Kinsey Institute, tells FemmeFunn. “Nookie being one of my favorite examples — it may come from a Dutch word for sex, but I also like that unlike a lot of other euphemisms (lie together, between the sheets, sleep together), it has a lot more movement/place potential. Many more nooks to choose from!”

Drip, Drip

“My favorite euphemism for sex is ‘drip, drip’ because it perfectly captures the suspense and excitement of the moment — like waiting for the coffee to brew or a leaky faucet that just won’t quit!” Ellen Flowers, Director of Digital Engagement and Partnerships at the adult entertainment site https://rm11.com/, tells FemmeFunn. “Plus, it brings to mind the idea that things might get a little messy, which is always part of the fun,” adding, “So whether it’s a slow tease or a sudden downpour, ‘drip, drip’ adds a cheeky twist to the conversation!”

Smush

You can thank Jersey Shore for that one.

Schtup

“Such a great yiddish term for having sex,” says Norén. “It’s short and packs a bit of a punch when you say it. Brings a feeling of lightness to sex, like it doesn’t have to be so serious.” 

Tap That

I can’t hear this phrase without thinking of Megan McCauley’s song of the same name.

Quick-and-Dirty Euphemisms

Moving on to some…racier territory, there are a bunch of other euphemisms that are a bit more explicit.

Here are some one-word wonders:

Bang

Boink

Fuck

Grind

Hump

Nail

Pound

Screw

Score

Smash

Shag

Weird, Wonderful, and Ridiculously Raunchy Euphemisms

OK, so we couldn’t leave out these gems. Some are pretty bizarre, while others are just way too creative. (I’m pretty amazed by the food-themed ones, TBH.)

Balls Deep

Bedroom Rodeo

Bumping Uglies

Business Time

Churning Butter

Crushing Buns

Doing Squat Thrusts in the Cucumber Patch

Doing the Monster Mash

Exploring the Hidden Valley

Getting Jiggy with It

Having a Hot Beef Injection

A Trip to Pound Town

Stuffin the Muffin

Sweeping the Chimney

Testing the Mattress

The No Pants Dance

What’s your favorite? I can’t decide if “Stuffin the Muffin” or “Crushing Buns” is the winner in my book.