The SMSNA periodically receives and publishes ‘guest editorials.’ The current article was submitted by Mia Barnes, a freelance writer and researcher who specializes in women’s health, wellness, and healthy living. She is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Body+Mind Magazine.
Feeling like you can’t control your body is frustrating, especially if you’re struggling to reach orgasm. Although there could be many reasons why you can’t climax, your mental health may be one of the leading causes. Learn more about how overthinking can lead to orgasmic dysfunction and you’ll potentially find some solutions that give you peace of mind.
What Is Orgasmic Dysfunction?
Orgasmic dysfunction is a general medical term that describes a person’s inability to orgasm regardless of the sexual stimulation or arousal they experience. Experts estimate that 4.4% of cisgender men struggle with this challenge and note that the number is likely higher due to underreporting.
Researchers have also found that 28% of women in America also struggle to orgasm. No matter which statistic applies to you, you’re not alone in this experience.
How Does Overthinking Lead to It?
Overthinking happens when your thoughts are racing about one or more topics. It may relate to a heightened sense of anxiety, stress or depression. The result is an inability to focus on anything else, which can lead to orgasmic dysfunction because it takes you out of your sexual arousal.
Tips to Stop Overthinking
Take back control over your mind and sex life by practicing new mental health strategies. Integrating at least one into your daily life could solve your racing mind and help you experience orgasms again.
- Talk About What’s on Your Mind
Contacting a loved one can soothe your mental health because you get to vent. Talk about the thoughts that connect most to your emotions, like your biggest worry or stressor. When you finish your conversation, you may feel more at peace. You could also meet with a therapist regularly if you need more long-term support from someone trained to help you unpack your thoughts.
- Adjust Your Routine
A slight change in your routine could put your mind at ease. Consider delegating responsibilities or taking more time for self-care. The best addition to your routine depends on what most adversely affects your thoughts.
You might even adjust whatever you have as a routine in your sex life. Meditating or deep breathing could ground you in your body so you’re present enough to orgasm.
- Practice Active Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is about more than accepting a compliment. When you’re actively practicing it, you’re limiting how you negatively think about yourself. Think about what was on your mind when you last tried to orgasm. If you felt focused on a mistake you made earlier in the week, your new routine could be recognizing when you’re dwelling on a mistake and letting it go.
Recognizing the most compassionate way to treat yourself can take some work. Grab a journal or open a note on your phone. If you spend a few days logging the negative thoughts that cross your mind, you can reflect on the most common themes.
Do something positive to reverse whatever’s most present in your mind, like saying a positive affirmation out loud when you doubt yourself. It might seem like a small act, but self-compassion reduces stress hormones that could be blocking you from orgasming.
Feel More Confident in Your Body
Once you understand how overthinking can lead to orgasmic dysfunction, you can take control of your mind and body. Think about what thoughts are most present when you’re trying to orgasm. If you work on reversing those thoughts outside of sexual experiences, you could feel more confident in your body and enjoy orgasms again.
References:
Nguyen V, Dolendo I, Uloko M, Hsieh TC, Patel D. (2023, April 15) Male Delayed Orgasm and Anorgasmia: A Practical Guide for Sexual Medicine Providers. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41443-023-00692-7.pdf
Marchand E. (2020, October 14) Psychological and Behavioral Treatment of Female Orgasmic Disorder. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33069622/
Utilization Review Accreditation Commission (URAC). (2023, May) Mental Health Action Day. https://www.urac.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/do-something-for-yourself-today-MHAD.pdf
Whitlock J., Mai T., Call M., Van Epps J. (2021, May 13) @THEU. How to Practice Self-Compassion. The University of Utah. https://attheu.utah.edu/facultystaff/how-to-practice-self-compassion/
